Why it is a bad idea to look through your partner’s phone.

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Going through your partner’s phone is always a bad idea and it never ends well. Such actions are unhealthy for the relationship and give the impression that trust is diminishing or probably missing.

No matter how viable your reasons are to go through your partner’s phone, desist from it. Here are four reasons why it is a bad idea to look through his or her phone:

1. You May See What You Cant Process: If you are the jealous type that is irked by the little things your partner does then it is better you distance yourself completely from his or her phone. I asked a few of my clients who come for counselling, what cheating in a relationship meant and what flirting also meant. One observation I made was that each person had a different definition of both terms.

What that means is that what your boyfriend or girl may find normal, you would probably see as cheating. When that happens and we don’t get the explanation we want it breeds lots of doubt and eventually relationship problems.

2. You break your partner’s trust in you: Your partner left their phone there without a password because they didn’t anticipate you would take it and read through their messages. He or she trusted you with their privacy and your action broke their trust in you. At that moment what you found on the phone doesn’t matter. He will probably learn to protect his phone from you and that would feed your insecurities. It is always better to confront them head-on when you have any doubts.

3. Invading His or Her Privacy: Mobile phones these days have become people’s personal space. This is because it carries practically every piece of information about them. Invading your partner’s phone is just like trying to access their memories and thoughts. Noone would appreciate that so stop it. Unless you both have come to an agreement to check each other’s phone then it’s cool.

4. It makes you appear weak and desperate: If you find yourself dating someone that gives you every reason to doubt their loyalty, then it is better to walk away. Confront them based on observations you have made not because of what you saw on their phone. As soon as you stoop that low, they will likely lie to you. If that is not disrespectful, then I don’t know what else it is.

It is better for couples to agree on and set boundaries in their relationship as that would help both of you navigate difficult times ahead. Always remember that doubt and insecurities are the perfect recipes for a bad breakup.

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